I know it has been forever! But you can't blame a girl for living after almost dying twice. Soooo happy with life right now! I'll fill you in on all the awesomeness you guys have missed.
Sooo I am back at school. I have been living it up. Making up for lost times and all. It has been weird coming back after being gone for so long. That is kinda an issue. For the entire first semester I felt like I was brand new again. I didn't know any of the sophomores that were freshmen when I was gone. I didn't know any of the new freshmen because neither of us had ever seen each other before. So while I was trying to meet all the sophomores I also had to introduce myself to the freshmen. And don't even get me started on what my "year" is...
I honestly had a big problem with that. I HATE the fact that I am suppose to be a junior. It is something that bothers me that really truly shouldn't. I'm not dead right!? That's the important thing. Not whether or not I'm reppin' '13 or '14. There are some dumb things that even after facing cancer twice I still care about. It makes no sense so I'm trying to get over it. But it is honestly taking a good deal of effort.
You know what also takes effort, connecting with people my age. I guess due to all my wisdom gained through cancer I am really like 108 years old. People just don't get me and I don't really get them. I have tried to re-socialize and join clubs and things but nothing seems to work. Even the clubs I'm in now, there is no connection to the people I work with. They all call and talk to each other on the weekends and get their nails done together while I am off meditating or just being me. I use to be sad about the fact that they didn't want to hang out with me but I understand. I'm just not into the same things. I am not on the same level. I'm not even their same age mentally. It does suck a little being a lone wolf but you know what, whatever. I'm pretty sure if someone asked me beforehand if I would rather die and have friends and a graduation year of 2013 or survive and be on my own planet with plans for the future...I think I would have chosen wisely.
I love who I am and what I do with my life. I am happy and that is what matters! I do not fit into any bubble but I have come to terms with that. Yay for individuality! Don't worry, I'm not singling anybody out. These are just my thoughts and how I am dealing with life after death after life after death the first time.
I must admit though. I do connect with some people. I guess that makes those connections even more meaningful and amazing. People are no longer just simple acquaintances. When I connect with someone it is like a meeting of souls. This is how relationships should be. I want to thank all the people whose souls connect with mine continue my happiness. <3
Until Next Time, BMT Babe is Out**
Sooo I am back at school. I have been living it up. Making up for lost times and all. It has been weird coming back after being gone for so long. That is kinda an issue. For the entire first semester I felt like I was brand new again. I didn't know any of the sophomores that were freshmen when I was gone. I didn't know any of the new freshmen because neither of us had ever seen each other before. So while I was trying to meet all the sophomores I also had to introduce myself to the freshmen. And don't even get me started on what my "year" is...
I honestly had a big problem with that. I HATE the fact that I am suppose to be a junior. It is something that bothers me that really truly shouldn't. I'm not dead right!? That's the important thing. Not whether or not I'm reppin' '13 or '14. There are some dumb things that even after facing cancer twice I still care about. It makes no sense so I'm trying to get over it. But it is honestly taking a good deal of effort.
You know what also takes effort, connecting with people my age. I guess due to all my wisdom gained through cancer I am really like 108 years old. People just don't get me and I don't really get them. I have tried to re-socialize and join clubs and things but nothing seems to work. Even the clubs I'm in now, there is no connection to the people I work with. They all call and talk to each other on the weekends and get their nails done together while I am off meditating or just being me. I use to be sad about the fact that they didn't want to hang out with me but I understand. I'm just not into the same things. I am not on the same level. I'm not even their same age mentally. It does suck a little being a lone wolf but you know what, whatever. I'm pretty sure if someone asked me beforehand if I would rather die and have friends and a graduation year of 2013 or survive and be on my own planet with plans for the future...I think I would have chosen wisely.
I love who I am and what I do with my life. I am happy and that is what matters! I do not fit into any bubble but I have come to terms with that. Yay for individuality! Don't worry, I'm not singling anybody out. These are just my thoughts and how I am dealing with life after death after life after death the first time.
I must admit though. I do connect with some people. I guess that makes those connections even more meaningful and amazing. People are no longer just simple acquaintances. When I connect with someone it is like a meeting of souls. This is how relationships should be. I want to thank all the people whose souls connect with mine continue my happiness. <3
Until Next Time, BMT Babe is Out**
If you need someone to process your experience with or need someone to vent to try:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.imermanangels.org/
They helped me a ton when I was trying to sort through stuff with my mom.
Thank you for continuing to share your journey with others (like myself) in the world. May your journey to continue to bring you to a place of emotional healing as well.
Blessings to you!
-Kate