Day -7

I'm sooooo over this already!!!  My true/depressed feelings have started to kick in...Thank God for Ativan lol.

I have now had 12 rounds of intense chemotherapy.  It is sooo taking a toll on my body even though I was able to get up and bike for a little while today.  I did a bunch of window art but once that was done with, it was time to sleep.  I had some kind of reaction so I had to take benadryl.  It ran in my line for 15 minutes and I was knocked out by 16 minutes. 

Now, I'm super drowsy and plan on going back to sleep so...

Until next time, BMT Babe is out**

Day -8

Today was soooo blurry.  I jumped out of bed around 11 and just started going like a mad person.  This is after the fact that I was completely unconscious for a good while.  Before I had gone to sleep, I was given Keppra, a drug to prevent me from seizing but has a tendency to knock me out, and Ativan.  Ativan is something us Cancer groupies like to call fun time.  It puts me out in more ways than one.  I was calling nurses telling them something was screaming...yes, my brain was screaming.  I even talked to a few people that don't exist.  My dreams had an old American Idol in them?!?!  dilaudidandme.blogspot.com

Anyway, after I showered myself out of my stupor, I did a lot of YOGA!  See, this idea seemed good to me at the time.  The time being 12:20.  I was getting intense chemotherapy at 12:30. 

DO NOT EVER MIX YOGA AND BUSULFAN!!!

Once I stopped feeling disgusting, I got more Ativan and have been in bed ever since.  I watched 2 episodes of The Boondocks and fell asleep through majority of the first one.  Now I have on socks and am eating beef jerky. 

Chemo+Yoga+Ativan=Mackenzi+Drool+Mush for Brain

Until next time, BMT Babe is out**

Day -9

Soooooo the counting has begun.  Really, I should say that the count down has begun.  What the minus numbers mean are the days left until my actual transplant.  Today, just like the rest of the negative days, was really just for Chemo and build up.

First, my nurse drew 7 sets of labs (took blood) starting at 6 in the morning and going until 12 noon.  It was awful just because of the sheer length of time.  Other than that, I thank God for the invention of broviacs.  Can you imagine being shot several times in a vein to give blood over 6 hours!

Next, this is when I finally woke up due to freakin Keppra, I had to step from my bed unto a scale.  I get weighed twice a day now.  Not really that big a deal but kinda intrusive.  I also have to chart everything I eat and drink.  It's conveniently tapped to my door but it's still soooo hard to remember to chart everything that goes in my mouth.  Everyone knows I eat a ton. 

Finally, I had nothing else to do but play Wii, paint, and watch tv.  I know it sounds nice and chillaxed but really it's like being in a fancy prison.  You get treated well but you're still stuck there for 5-10...years.  But at least prisoners don't have to shoot things up their noses.  The worst part of my day is the nasal spray.  It's meant to prevent any sinus infections but really it just burns my nose raw and makes it drip yellow.  Yeah, I know, TMI. 

Now, I get to go to sleep and do it all again tomorrow.  Woohoo.

BMT Babe is out**

I'm Moved In!

I am here!!!!  The big scary transition to the hospital is done and over with.  I am nicely situated in my room.  I've hung up my posters: Beetles, Bob Marley, Johny Depp and Malcolm X.  The only thing with the posters is they keep jumping off the walls.  I love that these sticky things say they can hold the weight but after 20 minutes, Abbey Road is leaping from the wall.  (As I am writing this, it fell on the floor again.)  It's fine though. The room actually looks like a hospital themed dorm room lol!

The schedule is funky but not awful!  Tomorrow I'm starting Chemo at 6 in the morning.  Thank God I don't have to be awake for this to go down.  This chemo--Busulfan goes over 2 hours every 6 hours for 4 days.  The only concern with this drug is it can cause seizures but I'm also getting drugs (actually right now) to combat that too.  After I get my chemo in the morning I think I'm going to shower since back here I have to shower everyday.  I know that doesn't seem like it would be that strange but everything is soooo much more difficult with a broviac. 

After my shower my day will probably be filled with yoga, jewelry making, watching tv and reading.  My life is soooo interesting!!!  I'll write about how my first day of Chemo goes. 

Here's my road map (layout of chemo up until the bmt procedure):

Until Next Time, BMT Babe is Out**

It's Sunday....

Soooooo I cried a little bit last night and some this morning but that's it...I think, I hope.  It's almost 6 and I feel pretty good.  I've packed up all my posters and disassembled my drums so I'm ready for the move I just have to make sure my brain is ready for it too. 

Of course, I'm scared but I'm also pretty excited to just get it done and over with.  I want everything to go well and quickly.

Hopefully, I won't die and I will be around for at least 50 more years.  The upsetting part is I have to think about things like that.  This is sooooo not fair for a 19 year old to deal with.  I mean, I'll do it cause I'm awesome but I would like it better if I was just in my dorm room studying for the end of first block.

Whatever though.  I'm sooooo passed the pity part.  I just want to kick some ass and take some names and buy some more wigs lol. 

Oh And, my wonderful next door neighbor has had Cancer 3 times.  She has kept her faith and survived all of it.  I think that is a sign.  I feel better after talking to her.  Plus, she's just a sweetheart.  I at least know that I haven't used up all my strikes with almost dying.  I was worried about that before.  "Oh well, I survived it once, I don't know if I'm allowed to survived it multiple times."  But now I don't really agree with that crazy reasoning lol.  I promise, I'm not that insane all the time.  

Until next time, BMT Babe is out**

It's Finally Happening!

Soooooo I went to clinic on Wednesday and I am super duper healthy!!! Of course, besides the fact that I still have to go through with this stupid bone marrow transplant....
But I did gain a heap ton of weight!!! Only in this instance is that a good thing. All of those chips ahoy and pudding cups really paid off lol. I gained around 6 pounds in a week. That of course is good and bad again but right now, I will take it.

Ohhhhhhh I got my drum set!!!!!! It is beautiful. Dark purple wood with a bright silver snare. I'm in love with my full, legit drum set. No one knew how big it was going to be. It's huge! It was actually a musician's performance set that he was kind enough to donate to a little girl with Cancer. I will post pictures if I can figure out how. I'll also post a video (if that's possible) of my sick beats that make me sound like a pro lol. I'm actually pretty good at seeing a drummer and imitating what he does. I'm going to have such a good time playing in BMT now that my doc actually knows I'm bringing them back. I was just going to sneak them in and wait until he noticed them, but of course by then, it would be too late to take them away from me lol.

NOW, the day is actually coming. I am being admitted to the hospital this Monday. Not next or 3 weeks from now, in 3 days!!!!! I really have no idea how to feel. I'm of course scared and nervous but I'm also just anxious to get it started and over with. I guess I don't have to assign a feeling to this moment in time. I'll just go with it. As long as I'm not crying my eyes out about my situation, I'm good! We'll just see how well I'm doing come Sunday night.

I think I can make it!

Until next time (probably Sunday night), BMT Babe is out**

Another week!

SOOOOO I'm at home for another week.  This is of course good and bad.  I am happy and annoyed. 

I guess I get to eat more at home which is great.  But I'm sooooo ready to get this over with it just might kill me...the anxiety that is, not the transplant lol.

Speaking of eating, I feel like a bear.  Not a teddy but a legit brown bear in the forrest.  Since I know I'm going to get shitty food in the hospital and have a sucky restricted diet, I'm eating EVERYTHING in sight.
I am preparing for hybernation lol.  I'm packing on the pounds to sleep through the winter.  This is a good plan I say.  I ate a 13 oz pack of chips ahoy white and milk chocolate chip cookies in 2 days! 

It was necessary =D

When I'm not eating during my time off, I think I will be turning into Ringo Starr.  I'm getting a legit drum set tomorrow! I'm soooooo excited.  I guess I will play until someone screams at me to stop.  We'll see how that goes.

Until next time, BMT babe is out**

It Got Postponed

Soooo I've been waiting and waiting to write on my blog. I guess I'm nerdily excited to keep track of my thoughts and days for once.  I wasn't going to start until I was admited for my Bone Marrow Transplant.  That was suppose to be yesterday....It wasn't. 

Sooooo I am suppose to get 2 cord bloods from Italy (I guess I have some Italian in me too).  Italy, however, is too busy eating spagetthi (hopefully that's not too racist) to send both my cord bloods at the same time/in time for my admit date.

Soooo I will not be getting a Bone Marrow Transplant until next week.  Which is a good and a bad thing.  On one hand, I really really want to just get this over with and be on the other side to recovery already but on the other, I will enjoy and appreciate the extra time I have out.  Whatever, everything happens for a reason.  There is probably some cosmic reason why my transplant got pushed back a week.  I bet I won't learn it till later but I know there is one.

Until next time, BMT babe is out**